Seven years ago, I remember thumbing through my latest copy of Essence magazine admiring the work of then Relationships Editor, Demetria Lucas. She took the magazine’s coverage of men, love, romance and sex to a whole new level and I couldn’t wait to read her monthly features as I navigated the dating world myself.
Back then I never would’ve guessed that I would one day have the opportunity to envision, design and execute a special event featuring Demetria where she could share more of her advice, insight and wisdom with a room full of dope women. Add to that her successor at Essence, Charreah K. Jackson, joining us for the ride as well…my mind would have been blown.
But, this past Tuesday night, that’s exactly what happened at ColorComm’s “Don’t Waste Your Pretty” Spring Spree…and it was amaaaaazing!!!
If you don’t already know who Demetria is or what she’s about, you can catch up through my interview with her last year where she shared some great advice that all women need to be reminded of. And this week there were even more nuggets of wisdom to be had during our conversation with her, moderated by Charreah.
Here are just a few of the high notes she shared, that are certainly not to be forgotten as we enter warm weather dating season:
- His looks aren’t everything– Don’t get distracted by the physical alone. Yes, chemistry and attraction are vital for any romantic connection, but it’s also just as important, if not more, to find someone who is on the same page as you in life if you want the relationship to last. And being with someone that’s good arm candy but lacks in other vital areas is not where it’s at…being in the wrong relationship or with the wrong person can have a detrimental effect on your whole sense of self.
- Stop trying to catch a man at events- If you’re trying to connect with some new dating prospects, don’t just go to the spots where you think all the men will be like summer rooftop parties and after work mixers. Why? Because every other single girl will have the same idea and you’ll be in heavy competition. Instead think about the informal situations you can meet potential mates: riding the train, the subway, a coffee shop. And when you spot him in those situations, be open, smile and be complimentary to get his attention. Why not throw out, “Nice tie…” “Nice haircut…” or “Love your shirt…where’d you get it?” Newlywed Demetria met her husband on the NYC subway.
- Save your business cards for business, not dating- I know all of us are rocking it in our professional lives, but when it comes to dating, know the difference between doing business and tryna holla. Do not hand him your card when he asks for your number. Be personal and put your number in his phone or verbalize it to him.
In addition to the conversation with Demetria, a girls night out event just isn’t complete without a little shopping, mingling, sipping and laughs. Inglot’s beauty studio in the Chelsea area of Manhattan was the perfect backdrop.
Swivel Beauty – a new hair care review site for women of color – provided a “braid bar” for the evening where the ladies could get one of three signature braids.
Me and @KrissyWhit bonded over our tapered cuts. Loving how she’s rocking hers in golden brown hue.
The beauty studio was packed with with beautiful ladies all night long.
As for what I wore, the warm weather that day meant my toes and shoulders could make an appearance for the first time since last year here in NYC!